Swiss | Guinea-Bissau

I identify as mixed-race, spiritual/agnostic/atheist, and bisexual. My Mum was born in Guinea-Bissau, but grew up in Portugal. My Dad is Swiss and has lived pretty much all over Europe. My parents didn’t really combine their cultures, despite having African parents and being born there, my Mum had a very ‘European’ upbringing. My Mum is a great cook, so she cooked a lot of African-Portuguese food, but my Dad never really brought much to the table (except chocolate, because Swiss chocolate is the bomb). My Dad disappeared from my life when I was around 12 or 13, and I was never as close to his side of the family, so I don’t feel as connected to my Swiss roots. I do still speak a little bit of Portuguese (although not as fluently as I should!) but I’ve completely lost my German since I don’t have contact with my Dad anymore, which is sad. I do feel like I should make a bit more of an effort in keeping up my Portuguese as I feel like I’ve almost complete Anglicised myself living here for so long! Because I grew up here, I do feel very British. But when it comes to my parents’ culture, I do connect more with my African-Portuguese side than my Swiss side, especially since losing contact with my Father. My Mum hasn’t been back to Guinea-Bissau since she was 8 years old and wants to take me with her in the next couple of years to reconnect with family she still has there. I’m looking forward to this and learning more about my Mum’s heritage (and I suppose mine as well). If I had the opportunity to be reborn I would still want to be mixed-race, as I am. Although, once I said to my mum that I wish I was a bit darker so that I could identify with her more, to which she responded that she was glad that I was born the way I was, because my lighter skin means that I won’t face as many prejudices in White spaces like she’s faced. This made me really sad, because you can’t really dispute that we still live in a society that favours light skin, and I guess I carry a bit of internal guilt about never fully empathising with my mum’s struggles, and in some ways, benefiting from White privilege.

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