Indian | Bajan
I identify as a straight mixed-race woman. My mother is Indian but born in the UK. My dad was born in Barbados. I’ve always been aware of my mixed-race heritage, and particularly the fact that my mix is unusual. I reckon that’s because my whole life, I’ve had strangers ask where I’m from. I wouldn’t say my parents actively made an effort to combine cultures. I’d say the way it naturally manifested itself in our family home was through cooking. I love to cook, so do my parents and my grandparents. Both cultures are full of so much flavour! My mother’s family can speak Punjabi, but unfortunately, I cannot. I think that was a missed opportunity, but also a reflection of the fact we were very disconnected from that side of the family. If things were different, I probably would have picked it up naturally as a child. I wouldn’t say I feel very connected to my Caribbean roots, but I certainly feel less connected to the Indian side. I guess part of that is due to family tensions with the interracial relationship my parents had, so I didn’t meet much of my mother’s side of the family until I was a teenager. When I was at family functions, I felt more like I was an outside guest, rather than part of the family. It’s funny that how you look can play such a big part in those instant connections you make, or don’t make. I feel like I am an equal mix of two ethnicities, but unfortunately society seems to focus more on the missing part. I can’t say ‘I’m Indian’ or ‘I’m Black’ without someone correcting that I’m only half. On the plus side, my parent’s differing backgrounds has taught me that you really can break society's norms and go with your heart. Love is love. When I was younger, there weren’t many mixed-race people, and if you said you was mixed-race, it was assumed your mother was White, and father was Black. Whereas today, people are getting more used to a variety of mixes. If you asked me 3 years ago, how I would have like to be born again, it would have said ‘me but with better hair!’. However, I’m learning to love my natural afro now, so I would come back exactly as I am.
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