French | Malagasy/Comorian
I identify as mixed-race, mixed Black and White. My Dad is French, and my Mum is half Malagasy and half Comorian. She was born and raised in Toliara, Madagascar. My parents met in St Germain, Paris, 35 years ago. I can’t pinpoint one precise event of when I became aware of being different. It probably would have been as a small child getting comments about my hair that is naturally afro. People trying to touch it. Asking if it’s real and who's braiding my hair like that. Then also at school I remember we had to draw self-portrait and I was the only one being told to use a different colour pencil for my skin. I do think there’s still bias attitudes towards mixed people. Being a light skinned person mixed with Black, all my life I’ve been fetishized and said that I’m ‘lucky for having a small nose’ or not being ‘dark skinned’. That comment has come from White people but also sadly, from Black people. Four years ago, I started to relax my hair and that was an eye opener. Having straight hair has been my dream for as long as I can remember. Suddenly people acted a different way around me when I stopped being so easily identified as being part Black. I’ve had people telling me I just look White Mediterranean and that genuinely upset me. I find it very unpleasant to have a part of my identity erased because I’m genuinely proud of it. I’m now on a journey to go back to my natural hair. It seems like such a small detail but loving my afro hair is part of loving myself for who I am. If I were to be born again, I would not change my ethnicity for the world. To me, my identity represents more than just being mixed-race. It’s also the story of my parents and how they had to deal with the stigma of a White man dating a Black Muslim woman in the 80s and 90s. They had to face quite a lot of backlash at first, from the White Catholic part of the family too. My identity to me is the result of their love and two cultures merging. I would not exist if my mum didn’t leave her country to live on the other side of the planet to secure a better future for her and her siblings. I think that’s extraordinary.
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