English/Scottish | Malaysian-Chinese
I am half Malaysian-Chinese, Half English/Scottish. My Dad is from Leicester, although my grandfather came from Glasgow and the Scottish side of my family is definitely celebrated! My mother is fully Chinese but was born in Penang, Malaysia. I was aware of being mixed-race from a very young age. I do not look particularly Chinese and people would sometimes assume that my mum was my nanny when she took me to the playground. I was brought up by my mum alone. She would talk to me in Cantonese when I was small but at a certain age I became aware of my ‘Chinese-ness’ and didn’t want to speak it back to her. As a result, I speak very little Cantonese and sound like a ‘gwei-lo’ (foreign devil) when I do. My stomach is most definitely Chinese, and this is because we would eat Chinese food most of the time, go to Dim Sum every Sunday and go to Chinatown to buy groceries. I always remember being told off in Cantonese by the old lady in the shop on Lisle Street for playing with the fruit and veg! Having said that though, I recognise that I am also very Western, possibly even English, too. I do think there are bias attitudes & stereotypes towards mixed-race people. People, especially men, comment on how ‘exotic’ I am. It’s weird because growing up, I was bullied for the way I looked and have huge issues with it. I think I am lucky to be mixed-race in today’s society. There are lots of mixed race people around and I think that is an indication that the world is getting smaller, people are getting more curious and open-minded. In my mum’s generation it was frowned upon to mix with other races. I also think future generations will become more and more mixed as people migrate and cross borders. It is a natural part of evolution. Despite various difficulties in my life, I know no other way. I think I am extremely lucky to have grown up multiculturally and love that I have three or four home cities around the world, including in Asia. So, I would want to return as I am, except maybe I would learn to speak Cantonese from a young age – that’s the only thing I would want to change!
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