Dutch | Ghanaian

I identify myself as mixed White/Black. I don’t consider myself to be a half breed, more double breed. I am straight, I like guys. I am looking for a religion, but I’m certain that the door will always be open to anyone and everyone, no matter what.

My moms from the Netherlands and my dad’s from Ghana. They met through my mom’s sister who was also dating a Ghanaian man. They went to school together and met here in the Netherlands. I grew up in Amsterdam, born and raised.

Because I didn’t really have contact with my father, for a long time I didn’t so much want to be Black as much. I had the feeling that I didn’t want to be associated with my African roots, I linked everything African to my dad. But actually, since I was 18 I finally was able to separate those, and I started exploring my heritage and what it means to be of African descent. I’m actually very proud of that and that has nothing to do with the bond I have with my father. I really do stand for it and I’m very aware that when people look at me they see a Black woman.

My circle of friends is very diverse. Different religions. Different ethnicities. Different sexual orientations. That can only be viewed as an advantage in my opinion, because I can look at things from different perspectives because of it. This definitely plays a role in the way I identify myself. I don’t really have a type. I’m more observant of how we connect spiritually. I usually feel those vibes from the start. Culture doesn’t really matter, in the sense that if someone from a culture I’m not familiar with comes up to me I definitely wouldn’t exclude that person.

I definitely think that in The Netherlands it’s commonly thought of as beautiful to be a mixed kid, but it does bring a lot of confusion to us as children along with it. For example: where do you feel like you belong most or feel at home? And I get the type of questions that indicate that you should choose one or the other, or ‘IF you HAD TO choose, which one would it be’. ‘Do you feel more this or that,’ even though it really is a mix of both and it can be tough at times to feel like that, but that just is the way it is.

I enjoy it a lot when people try to guess where I’m from. I think of that as something positive. That they think of me as some new apparition that they haven’t seen before and that I could actually be anything when it comes to my ethnicity. I experience that as very positive.

The negative part is mainly the racism and the prejudice. That doesn’t really have anything to do with being mixed itself, but more so that they only see the darker colour of my skin and that they have prejudices about that. I often find it hard to deal with that because it triggers a certain aggression within me. I feel like defending myself but most of the time it’s ignorance coming from the other party. I’m still looking for the best way to handle those type of situations.

If I were to be born again and could decide for others too I’d want us to live as one people. No difference in culture or religion. Because I’m really searching for togetherness for all people in this world. So that’s what I’d choose.

I think that everyone, in a distant future, will be mixed with something. Even if it’s from their distant ancestors. And that because of that people will understand better and get it more what it means to be of different ethnicities.